Saturday, January 31, 2004
its 5am and i'm awake for no apparent reason.
posted @ 5:52 AM
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Thursday, January 29, 2004
Things are gettin better , instances when i'll get affected just by thinking abt him are gettin lesser , but its still happening. Damnnit.
posted @ 11:55 AM
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Tell me how not to fall in love with this flawless creation of God !!!
posted @ 12:58 AM
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Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Click here for the Group photo taken @ Melvin's house on
Xmas Eve
More to come !! The file is bloody big and there are 3 more comin. ( remember to scroll down all the way for the names as i cant find a way to delete the white parts )
posted @ 12:09 PM
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A brand new day is here ! Maybe if i submerge myself by workin harder then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But then again , evening shifts at Bratbites are almost always spent behind the counter stealing food with Casper or swatting flies. Its barely noon yet the lead weight in my heart is makin its unwelcome presence again.. Damnnit .
posted @ 11:32 AM
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Miss universe wannabe.
posted @ 1:59 AM
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Monday, January 26, 2004
i'm feeling ...
like i've just got trodden on...
I've thought that i could cope but i'm wrong , damnnit. The dull ache in my heart seemed to monopolise my every movement , the whole of today was like a big blur of nonchalent existence.
I wished there was something i could do , to nullify the pain , but efforts were futile. I really cannot fathom where the hell all these stupid feelings came from all of a sudden. Even worse , i forced a very reluctant self to clarify everything with D today , i told him abt HIM and all he said was 'very well' before turning around and leaving. Am i stupid or what. I didn't want to , but i wasnt in a position to make another choice. Why do such things always happen to me ? Why cant i just fall for someone who feels the same way.
These few days have been rather melacholy and it sucks. After D left , i took a bus and never stopped taking it. I must have went around SIngapore several times going bus-hopping and even though i topped up my farecard by $10 in the morning it was all gone by evening. It didn't have a very therapeutic effect however. It only satisfied my desire to wallow in self-pity , listening to all those achey-breaky ( think savage garden ) songs on my MD and leaning against the window , watching the world pass me by.
Why did i fall for him in the first place? I don't even have his number. I barely know him. He's short and younger than me. So why the hell am i mourning this short-lived crush. I'll probably never see D again. He must think that i've been lying to him , giving him hope for something that'll never happen. I'm such an ass , a friggin ass. Can someone please run me down with a car over and over again. I've always been optimistic but its a dark period i'm going thru so please forgive my pessimistic and retarded ramblings. It'll soon be over. I promise.
posted @ 11:19 PM
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Sunday, January 25, 2004
Thats me being surrounded by 'lush greenery'. A work of art by amateur artist
a.k.a Fiona . Digital art never looked more disgusting.
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你已经远远离开
我也会慢慢走开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过。。
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posted @ 7:16 PM
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so. he's attached already. Ho-hum~ . Didn't come as a big surprise to me when he casually mentioned that he has a girlfriend already during a conversation with his friend ( i wasn't eavesdroppin !! ). Of cos , got hit with the obligatory pang of heartache that lingered for the next couple of hours that left me pretty much blank-faced despite the festivities going on. Tried my best to remain upbeat and by dawn the whole group of us were engaging in silly group games , the forfeit being drinking vodka , and that got the whole lot of us light-headed and all but no drunken 'casualties' *surprise!* . We zonked out on the couch and i was knocked unconscious for abt 10 min , no thanks to the vodka , and i woke up to find my head on HIS shoulder. I muttered 'fuck' ( i really did ) and tried to get myself outta there , i didnt wanna like fall into deeper depths and dying in the abyss ( eeeek ! So cliched ). But my stirring disturbed the two pigs on my either side so i remained stuck there. I sound like a sick bitch but somehow listening to him breathing so close to me , i felt disturbingly fulfilled and glad even though he has a special someone already. Giddy with my new found euphoria i really really really wanted time to stop ( Eeeek. another jaded cliche ) , that he never wakes up. I almost hyperventilated when out of no reason he suddenly looped one of his arms around my cold hand in his slumber , really inexplicable were the sudden flood of emotions and right there and then i burst into tears. For what, im not sure , perhaps it was my mind's way of taking a reality check , to stop pining for someone that you'll never get. More likely, i found myself in a familiar scene .. being reminded of Derek at such a time was definitely not what i wanted. Of course i couldn't let anyone see this embarrasing situation so i quickly bit my lip and cursed myself before wriggling out from the sofa , from him.
posted @ 1:59 PM
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Saturday, January 17, 2004
Refused to step out of my home despite much cajoling from Ju because i felt so dreadfully exhausted and mentally drained. I've always opposed the idea of spending the WHOLE damned day at home slacking but thats exactly what i did today . I must have been working too hard , the late nights have taken its toll on me.
Watched 4 consecutive episodes of the S.H.E idol drama just now on SCV , which equates to watching FOUR amazing hours of TV ! I've never watched so much tv in my life before , not in my conscious memory at least. I've never been a fan of chinese idols ( with the exception the mighty Jay Chou , of course. ) , but i must say that i really enjoyed watching this drama series ( or Ou Xiang Ju , if you must ). The last Ou Xiang Ju i've watched was way back in 2000 , when the F4 craze was at its peak. Yup , cringe all you want , but i liked watching Meteor Garden !! Anyway , the current Ou Xiang Ju that i'm watching right now is 'The Rose' , starring Ella. Its a welcome break from all the bubblegum Ou Xiang Ju-s nowadays , with nonsensical storylines and over the top acting ( think 5566's westside story ).
I was stumped for a second just now while staring blankly out of my kitchen window tryin to identify some naked eye objects and constellations without the aid of a sky map. As i was looking at Orion and tryin to convince myself that the dusty patch of hazy whoozy stuff bottom left to the Belt's actually the Orion Nebula ( it wasnt . Why ? Simply because nebulae aint a naked eye object. LOL. ) , when i suddenly caught a glimpse of a star not related to Orion MOVING. Yes , MOVING. I was stunned and my eyes quickly followed its movement as it slowly travelled to towards the Big dipper , and towards Sirius. It kinda hovered around Sirius for a while when it gathered speed and zoomed off towards Orion back again and it went for a distane towards the Pleiades before disappearing altogether. All while still looking like any other Magnitude 2 star !!! What was that that i've just saw !?
posted @ 11:11 PM
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Wednesday, January 14, 2004
i actually cut my hair SHORT and very layered !!! Was damnnnn apphrehensive abt chopping my shoulder length tresses off but i knew i had to get a drastic change as they were getting toodarn shapeless and boring.Decided to take a break from the more traditional ( and expensive ) Kimage and give Chapter 2 @ Bugis a try. I must say that even though it wasnt what i wanted , it was still pretty alright and i'm pretty satisfied with it. Here are the pics !! ( You may have to adjust yr monitor settings abit as the photos are kinda dark. Just adjust the light to a brighter luminosity by pressing the buttons on your monitor )
Not a very clear pic . I've pinned up my fringe in this one.
... Dude , where are my glasses ?!
The short fringe can be seen in this pic .. Looking like a retard. Yeah laugh all you want at my crooked teeth !! :(
posted @ 12:21 AM
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Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Took the day off cuz i'm havin a tummy-ache.... Meanwhile as you can see i've uploaded a comment page so do leave comments if you're dying to voice out yr opinions or just wanna say hi !!!! It'll be really appreciated !!
posted @ 12:19 PM
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Monday, January 12, 2004
Are sex and related topics THAT taboo even in our seemingly liberated society ? Today i was with a couple of 'long-lost' friends i knew ever since i started ice skating and we were chatting away happily when we touched on the CENSORED topic. Everyone was matured enough to be game about talking about it , no holds barred , but our fruitful conversations were to be marred by this stupid girl , Lina . I don't know her, she's just someone who tagged along with one of my friend. she's my age but acts and dresses like she's 10 years younger but thats irrelevant. An example of her extreme stupidity :
Chris : Yeah i heard she did a blowjob for him in the male washroom of Zouk !!
Lina : *Extremely puzzled facial expression* WHats a blowjob ?
Chris : Its when you suck on somebody's dick
Lina :*covers her mouth with her palms and eyes dilates to twice its size* OH MY GAWWDDDDD !!!! You dirty freaks !!!!! Blah blah blah.
Her girlish and irritating exclaimations would go on for the next few minutes .
Lina : How can you tell me such things ?!!! That is SOOOOOOOO DISGUSTING ! How can they put in their mouths ?! Blah blah blah
Everyone would entertain her with polite laughs and replies but i could they were just grinning and bearing it. I wished at that moment my hand was long enough to reach across the table and smack her really hard. I wished she would quit acting like a decent pussy because its like , who the hell doesn't know whats a blowjob is anyway nowadays ? In the two hours spent at Fisherman's village , no less than 4 times she pissed me ( and the rest , i'm sure ) , with her dim-witted quips and over-the-top behaviour.
posted @ 11:57 PM
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Although i'm always caught mentioning gettin married , it frightens me to think that i'm actually AGING. Of course , being a nubile young lady of 17 you would think i have no cause for concern but in 3 year's time i'd no longer have an age that ends with a 'teen'. It really scares the shit out of me , man !!
AFter randomly reading a few blogs just now i realised that i haven't done the seemingly proper and compulsory thing , which is to 1) Write new year resolutions and 2) Recap on the year before. Well its better late than never so since i've got the time and energy now i guess i better do it.
New year resolutions :
1) The mandatory 7 glasses of water a day which i never got around to drinkin it cuz i simply detest drinking good ol' skyjuice . Gimme Coke over H2O anytime , man !
2) Stuff those contact lenses into my eyes. Easier said than done .
3) Religiously apply moisturiser every night. No matter how dead tired !!!
4) Have a bedtime of 12am.
5) Cram more visits to grandparents'
Guess i don't have many resolutions eh ? I'll embark on recapping the highs and lows of my 2003 , then !
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On second thoughts , i think i'll leave the recapping till some other day.
posted @ 11:27 PM
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Sunday, January 11, 2004
I saw him today. I know it sounds really corny but i swore my heart really skipped a beat and then it started accelerating to new heights within a timeframe of a second. We wounded up taking the same train and when he started walking towards me i was in a major flurry of confusion and when he actually said hi i kind of lost control over my tongue and i started tripping over my speech while we made small talk over mundane issues like his school life etc . I thought this silly crush on a younger guy wouldn't last for more than a few days but it's been like a fortnight already and i can't keep my mind off him though we've barely spoken to each other before. Oh dear.
posted @ 1:20 AM
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Friday, January 09, 2004
finally my blog is up once again. Working life is fine , just that my legs really ache alot at the end of the day. My collegues are a bunch of fun people and the boss , an equally nice person as well , though it can get really fly-swattingly bored at night. got so much more i wanna type but i'll leave it till the weekend when its my day off. till then , take care folks.
posted @ 12:48 AM
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Sunday, January 04, 2004
yucks. how unfortunate can one get ? I was at my void deck making my way home when i saw a malay guy sitting quite innocently enough at the stone benches near the lift landing. As i was approaching him from behind however , i noticed that his hand was in quite an unatural position which is at his groin level and there seemed to be quite alot of movement coming from "down there" and i knew something was not quite right. And how damn true ! As i walked passed him i glanced at him and he was jerking away right there and then !!!! I quickly hastened my pace and pretended that i have seen nothing but out of the corner of my eye i actually saw that ass smile. Its not the first time i've seen a flasher either. Ever since i was a wide-eyed primary schoolgirl i had been subjected to many incidents like this. Damnnnn!
posted @ 11:20 PM
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Saturday, January 03, 2004
if you're reading this , please please drop me an email... would really appreciate a word or two from you readers !! comments has been dwindling lately ~ my email is.. banana_hamster@hotmail.com
posted @ 10:11 PM
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My throat hurts....
posted @ 10:05 PM
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*coughs* .... Damn.. Barely a few days into the new year and i'm plagued with the chills .... I was wondering why my MSN list looked so empty yesterday when it suddenly dawned onto me that it was the start of a new semester for friends like Julynn , Aaron , Huijie etc .. I miss school !! Oh... And i have one good news to annouce... I have been EMPLOYED !!!! YAYYYY~~~~~ Finally after weeks of job-searching , Yan and I have finally secured a job. Its at a cafe at Far east square ( near Raffles place MRT ). Hallejujah~
posted @ 4:31 PM
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If you're a guy , and you whine alot , please , take 3 , no make that 1000 steps behind and stay put ! I've always wanted to write about this but it keeps slipping my mind. Yes i know , girls are the ones guilty of excessive complaining and grumbling but to see this trait in guys is absolutely unforgivable. If you have been pestering and begging for a date with me for the past few weeks and i finally relent by asking you out , you jolly well appreciate it and not act like i owe you a bloody favour.
I don't care if you're tired , that you've not had a wink the last night cuz' nobody forced you at gunpoint to use the computer all night long and the fact remains that i am NOT obliged to go out with you and it was out of pure sympathy that i did so GET that into your thick skull you ungentlemenly , petty ,immature,selfish ( Just because you like MosBurger doesn't make me a fan too you ass )and stingy dickhead !!! And for heaven's sake pick up that toothbrush and BRUSH YOUR TEETH cuz its yellow with disgustin built-up plague and tartar and it STINKS . It wouldn't hurt too , to get a new wardrobe and stop alternating between the few pathetic items of clothes you own. Just because nobody pointed that out doesn't imply that nobody NOTICED it because i DID you stinky poser !!!!
For someone who's almost already of enough age to watch R-rated movies , you're incredibly childish and its evident in the way you puncture every SMS of yours with irrelevant and disgusting "cutie" phrases like 'Wahehehe" and the like. Worse still , precious time is wasted because you enjoy typing in aLteRnatE aLphaBetS beCaUsE yOu tHinK that iT iS oH-sO-cUtE tO dO sO bUt whEn aCtuaLLy...That is SO FxxKing SISSY ! So what if you look like Takeshi Kaneshiro ( The disgusting metrosexual ) ... I don't give a damn about it so QUIT bragging ! If you can't speak or type english well , then DON'T. Isn't it embarrasing when you try to impress me with your 'vast' knowledge of the "hiphop" lingo when everything is full of grammar and spelling mistakes ? Its even worse when you take your bagful of shitty english outside and make a fool of yourself by speaking in a VERY fake american accent in your limited vocabulary and bad pronounciation ( Yeah. Like donuts is "Doo-Nuts" ). I'm not discriminating those with a poor command of the language but if you're more comfortable in conversing in mandarin i seriously won't mind as i grew up in a mandarin speaking household. I will never fall for such a loser like you so please don't even think about it you bugger.
Grrr. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned !!!!
posted @ 12:45 AM
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Thursday, January 01, 2004
The new year was ushered in with a bang literally ! Went to the Esplanade with Yan , Melvin , Douglas , Huijie , Jeric ,Billy and Maurice ( had to abandon the original plans of partying with Dave , Joshua , Damien , Gina and the rest @ Sentosa for i was underaged )and the place was not surprisingly packed and bodily fluids ( sweat. what were you thinking of ? ) were exchange freely as we rubbed shoulders and sweaty arms with fellow new year revellers. It was my first time seeing fireworks "live" and i must say the 15 min of nonstop pyrotechnics display was something that really kept my mouth gaped open from being awe-struck, especially when i had a great , unobstructed view as Jeric and Maurice lifted me onto their shoulders despite much protest from me as i did not want to hinder their view but they did anyway and i'm really thankful for it. People standing behind me must be cursing though. hehe.
After being packed like sardines in a can ( after the harrowing experience i hence conclude that even sardines have it better ) , imagine of the surge of relief when you finally have ample space around you , being able to stick your tongue out without licking some stranger's head in front of ya. The brady bunch i was with bought cans of confetti and foam that smelt like fuck and attacked me mercilessly , seeing that i was weaponless. Just as when i thought that the coast was clear and i started picking out the straggly bits from my hair when i saw a little girl walking towards me . I was about to ignore her when all of a sudden she whipped out a can and started spraying me , accompanied by girlish giggles and she ran back to her parents with a satisfied grin on her face. Armed with fresh supplies , Maurice threw me a full can of stuff and i attacked the little girl and it was really good , clean ol' fun all the way as we walked around with our arsenal of party ribbons and attacking unsuspecting passerbys . Others apparently had the same school of thoughts as just about everyone in sight walked around like a live decorated christmas tree .
posted @ 11:00 PM
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